Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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