Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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