dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
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When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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