u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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