At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
