You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
