College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
