I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
