so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Pooping to opera.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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