I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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