Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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