I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
