Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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