He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
