I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
