the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I look better un-naked...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
