i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
