didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
