hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Houston, we have a blender
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize