and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
