I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
