He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
