We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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