shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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