We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
