went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
