So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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