just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
