oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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