you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No subtext here. People are naked.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
