I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
