Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
