Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
send nudes
from the living room?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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