I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
