i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
