No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
