my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize