So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize