I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
