can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
