Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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