thus making me awesome and them whores
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
