I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
