I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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