I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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