This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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