i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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