she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
