Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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