Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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