we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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