I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
