i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
