Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
