So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
