All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
