the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
