I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
