her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
