i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
