Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
