You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
