I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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