booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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