She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
