FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize