just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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