it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
