they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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