covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize