All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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