your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Found the puke drawer
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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